When I am fully awake, I direct my thoughts, move them around,
and intentionally think about things in certain ways. It's what we all recognize and experience when we are fully awake. But when in an "in
between" state, I don't direct the flow of anything - I just observe, barely
aware that I'm even observing, and watch my thoughts and the images associated
with them fade in and out. When I am in that place, I drift. I'm still aware of my thoughts, but from a distance, and the flow of those thoughts follows its own path.
Sometimes faces appear, or snippets of movement like short video clips from a movie, and they all become increasingly disjointed, as the flow becomes more and more nonlinear. If I completely fall asleep, the awareness of observing anything disappears completely, and I become immersed in a dream from a first person perspective. But if I linger... if I allow the flow to just flow and yet stay aware that I am aware, the "more than real" sometimes emerges.
So what happens in the "in between" state of being?
I've not shared these experiences until now, mostly because I believe that we are each on our own unique path, and what it true for me may not be true for you. But the question I didn't even know I was asking until very recently is this: are my experiences REALLY real?
I had always accepted them as real for me, but had little interest in wanting to convince anyone else. Fear of ridicule was the main driver here, though I also didn't share because I knew that the strangeness of what I experienced would challenge other's beliefs and probably cause discomfort. And being someone who wants to ease pain, not trigger it, I've kept quiet.
But remaining quiet wasn't really a conscious decision. I'm only noticing my reasons for this choice now, because I suddenly feel very differently. The way we live and how we view ourselves is holding us back from understanding and knowing, meaning feeling and EXPERIENCING, a more expanded version of what we know as reality.
There is more. Much, MUCH more, and WE are more.
I don't think I am alone in wanting to learn, grow, and understand more about who I am, what life is all about, where we all come from, what our purpose is - what the point of any of it is, really - and I've come to understand that we need not just knowledge, but EXPERIENCE in order to satisfy this hunger.
I've been gathering information my entire life, by reading, seeking, asking questions, and studying, but it is mostly through having direct experiences that I have found a deeper understanding of many of these questions. Every new insight has led to more questions, but the increased awareness of "there is more" has given me much comfort. The gnawing "something is missing" feeling that we all share has been spot on all along, and I have found no greater pleasure than filling in the holes with experiential knowledge. But it can only go so far.
What I didn't have until recently was the shared experience, and it has changed my life. It has made me realize that we also need each other, and that by witnessing and sharing, we take experiential knowledge to exciting new levels.
High strangeness really IS real, and I'm not alone in discovering an ever-expanding new reality...